As a professional matchmaker, I know nearly all man’s dating mistakes that are reported by their girlfriends in Montreal and Toronto. Why not to learn from other people’s experience? Here are some simple rules to follow:
Never pull a Ventriloquists dummy out of the back seat after asking “ Can I show you something Neat”.
Never order the Vietnamese soup if it makes the sweat drip off you face.
Never answer, receive or place texts during a date.
If asked, Dateline NBC, Dexter or forensic files should not be your favourite shows.
Don’t live with your mother if you’re over 21. If you do you should probably pretend not to.
T-shirts and running shoes do not count as first date attire if you’re over 15.
Ex wives and girlfriends should not be referred to as gold-diggers, psycho bitches, or cra-cra. If asked, the correct response should be “she was very nice but it didn’t work out” and then change the subject.
There should never be any crying (unless you run over someone’s dog on the way home).
Your car should not look like you live in it. Take the Tim’s cups out of the backseat. Wash it.
MATCHMAKER SAYS: NO DIRECT QUESTIONS
“Are you my girlfriend now” is not a good question after a first date.
You should not know the waitress at the restaurant you go to by name, refer to her as honey or sweetie or remark on her “hotness”.
You should not ask if your date thinks she should order a salad instead of the ribs and garlic mashed.
You should not extol the virtures of Barrie (your home town) over Toronto, or Cornwall over Montreal. You moved here, find something to like about it or move.