As a professional matchmaker I am often asked “how do I change the type of person I’m attracted to?”
I always start by telling people to look back at their life. What is your family of origin like? Were you raised by an emotionally distant father? Does that make you choose men you constantly have to work at to get attention from?
Are you seeking mover and shakers because you’re looking to raise your status?
Sometimes being aware of why you’re doing things is the best way to make changes in your life.
If you’re happy with who you are, you won’t need a partner who is “shinier” than you. If you choose someone who adores you, you won’t need to try and “win” him for your whole relationship.
Do yourself a favour and stop picking “the bad boy” or “the hard to get”.
Do you choose someone emotionally abusive because it’s what you’re used to? If so, you need to do the work on yourself and learn to believe in your self worth before repeating your pattern again.
As a dating coach I have to ask the hard questions and spend time getting to know my clients so I can pick better people for them and encourage them into relationships that will make them happier in the long run.