A common mistake I deal with when people are looking to be matched is finding someone who makes everyone else happy before themselves. I always tell everyone they need to look out for themselves. It is their life and finding their perfect match is what should be most important. The rest will figure itself out.
I remember a woman recently telling me that her husband was 6’4” and her sons are 6’4”. She proclaimed that she could not see herself dating anyone shorter than that.
I had to immediately tell her this was not realistic. When I take on a new client, I need to have at least a hundred people in their area that meet a multitude of criteria. Unfortunately, in her case the average height for a man in Canada is 5’8 1/2”. The likelihood of finding a man who is 6’4” and above while meeting the rest of her criteria would be extremely difficult.
I asked her why she thought her sons would want her to find someone that was so tall? Were they looking to physically replace their father? She laughed when I said that.
I followed that up by asking her why she felt she needed someone so tall? She was only 5’4”.
Her response was very simple, and very standard when working with widowers or divorcée, it was just what she was used to.
I suggested that it might be wise to change her height requirement if she was serious about finding someone to share her golden years with. She reluctantly agreed and low and behold she fell in love with someone who was not only 5’10” but also has a great relationship with her sons.