One of the interesting things about being a matchmaker is that people come to me and say, “I’m really bad at choosing people. The last three relationships I was in, the person treated me very badly. They were verbally abusive and belittling, definitely not the best foundation for a positive, long-lasting relationship.” That’s great to say but in order to find that special someone, you need to change your thinking. I can match you up as much as you want but ultimately, you’re the only one who can choose who you end up with.
To help people move past toxic relationships, I need to put on one of my many professional hats and help them understand why they are selecting that kind of partner. We usually start by looking at the people they grew up with and then take a deeper dive into their family and the relationships they had growing up. For example, was there a parent that constantly made you feel bad and ran you down verbally? As human beings we tend to be most comfortable in the atmosphere we are most used to. If that’s the case, you need to change the way you think. I know it’s a very hard process, but it’ll ultimately improve your chances of success and building a positive long-lasting relationship with the right partner.
I’ve had women and men who have been married three times and were treated like gold by their partners. These clients generally have very high expectations and human nature being what it is, people tend to assume those expectations will be met.
When you don’t stop a friend, family member, lover or partner the first time they make a derogatory or offensive comment, you may find yourself in a negative toxic environment with a little chance of climbing out. It is important that you nip it in the bud right off the bat. This will help ensure you are treated the way you want/deserve in all your relationships.
It’s my job as a matchmaker and a professional relationship coach to make sure that you not only find the type of partner you’re looking for, but you end up in the kind of relationship that will help you grow as a person while making you happy and ultimately feeling fulfilled.