Love is in the eye of the Beholder

I’ll never forget one of the most enlightening moments I had as a matchmaker.

I was meeting a gentleman by the name of Graham from Kingston.  We agreed to meet at a restaurant in Portland so we both were coming about halfway.  When we arrived, the restaurant was closed.  Although I don’t normally do this, I had him come and sit in my car so we could do the interview.  As I remember it, the weather was terrible, so sitting outside was not an option.

We went through the questions on the application and talked a little about who he was and what his life was like.  He was an older man with a kind face. He explained he had been widowed and I asked him what he was looking for in a partner.

His eyes filled with tears and he said although he was lonely and wanted to meet someone, we would never be able to find anyone to replace Jane.  I asked him what she was like.  He described a woman to me that was obviously someone he had loved deeply. I asked what she looked like, thinking she had to be a great beauty.  He slowly reached into his inside coat pocket and took out a picture. He reluctantly handed it over.  I gazed upon Jane, the perfect woman by his account.  To my surprise, she was not what anyone would call a beauty. I handed her back and he looked down lovingly as he tucked her away.

Graham would go on to meet Irene and they went on to have a love affair for 10 years before he passed away. Although I’m sure he never forgot his love for Jane, he was able to find happiness and love with Irene.

For me, this was a pivotal moment in how I felt about love and romantic connections.  Love isn’t so much about the way someone looks as it is the way you feel when you’re with them.  It’s about making everything from a trip to Home Depot to an evening spent in front of the TV richer, more meaningful and fun.

The memory of Graham crying in my front seat made me want to prove to him that although the person who I found for him would be someone different than Jane, it could be just as good in a different way.  I like to think it was.