How to spot trouble in the early stages of dating

I recently had a lovely woman join Misty River Introductions.  As a professional matchmaker, I always use caution when bringing up the sometimes-sensitive subject of past relationships.  I feel it can really help me get a feel for the type of person someone is attracted to and the pitfalls of past choices that I might do well to avoid.

Ruth admitted that her past relationship was not good, and in hindsight, she should have noticed the red flags.  She said initially he was amazing, charming, good-looking and attentive.

As time went on, she became concerned that he seemed overly interested in her finances.  She felt uncomfortable answering his questions about her net worth, income and investments.  She felt it would be rude not to answer so she was usually quite frank with him when asked.

A few months later she started to notice that although he was on Facebook and Instagram, he never posted anything.  She decided to look at his sister’s social media accounts and low and behold Dean had a whole life he was not sharing! Two other women, one of whom he was still engaged to when he was courting Ruth!

At Misty River Introductions we verify all of our client’s information before working with them.  Being a matchmaker and dating coach has honed my ability to suss out people who are being duplicitous. Although Ruth felt foolish and embarrassed, given that she was newly widowed, it was understandable she took everything Dean had said at face value. She had met him online and unfortunately, when people are hiding behind a computer screen, they can be anyone they want.

What happened to Ruth was not fair, but unfortunately is seems to be happening more and more.  Knowing the warning signs is extremely important and can help you avoid the same type of experience.  Some of those warning signs are:

• Always be cautious of anyone who seems to be unusually interested in your net worth.

• Not everyone uses social media.  That in itself is not a red flag. But, if they are on social media and you never see them post anything, it usually means they have adjusted their settings so you can’t see what they are posting.

• Under no circumstances, should they ever ask you for money.

• If every single time you call them you get their voicemail and they call you back, chances are they are leading a double life.

99.9 percent of people are great, but when you’re dating, you can’t check your brain at the door.  Be open but discerning. Love with the right person who adores you will happen eventually!