Dating after the death of a spouse

As a matchmaker who has been working with widowed people for 25 years I often hear the same reasons people give for not wanting to meet someone new

“My kids would be horrified!”

Although a valid reason, it should not be the reason you are withholding yourself from meeting someone new.  Do you really want to spend the next 20-30 years on your own?  Even though your kids are a very important part of your life, they should not consult or force the direction of your love life.  Do you want to be dependant on them for your social activities?  Once they get used to the idea (it may take a while, but I promise they will), they will see how much happier you are with a new “partner in crime”.

“I’m worried about my children not getting my assets when I die.”

That is a valid concern but can be addressed through a simple meeting with your lawyer.  Anyone with any assets should be getting a cohabitation agreement or a pre-nuptial agreement prior to making any drastic life changes.  These agreements are valid and will protect your assets for your heirs.  You should also be considering dating people who have approximately the same net worth as you do.  This will not only alleviate some of the worry caused by financial inequity but could also prevent you from entering into a relationship with someone who wants you for the wrong reasons.

“It won’t be the same with someone new.”

No, it won’t.  Can it be as good?  Yes.  The best thing about a new relationship is that you get to experience new things like, places they like to go and activities that they are involved in.  Falling in love with someone who is a carbon copy of what you had would not be much fun anyway.  Always make sure you are dating with an open mind.  It will lead to all sorts of new adventures.