As a professional matchmaker this is a question I have 1000’s of times in the last 25 years.

What can make a relationship that looked so promising end so abruptly?

I know I’ve blogged about this on many occasions, but I’ll say it again. Too much, too soon is the death knell on many a relationship.

What make relationships and ultimately falling in love so exciting is the mystery and intrigue of gradually learning about someone you see as unique and special.

I shudder when I hear someone call in and tell me breathlessly that they talked to one of their matches for three hours last night.


How does someone you don’t know, who has thus far made no effort to earn your confidences earn three hours of your time? What you’re saying to your prospective suitor is that you have nothing else on the go, nothing else in your life but what paltry crumbs they are willing to give.


No-on gets more than 15 minutes on the phone the first time. You should have something you have to do. Once he has taken you out or she has gone on a date with you, you can have another conversation. Again a short conversation only for the purposes of making another date.

Early intimacy can also end things quickly. Things can go from lovely and sexy one minute to awkward and uncomfortable very fast. Don’t think of it as game playing, rather it’s protecting you from getting emotionally attached to someone who isn’t good for you. Anyone worth having can wait until you know the relationship has a reasonable chance of having a good outcome.