As a professional matchmaker I often hear sad stories about texting. Everything was going so well! Both people called into our office and were thrilled with the sound of their match. They thought the picture was great and very attractive. It all should have been perfect. And then the angry call. “Take that guy off my list.”


Fraught with innuendo, misunderstanding and sexualized subtext, the chances of a misstep are very likely. Texting is also part of the “hook-up” culture associated with Tinder and similar apps.

Do you want a long term relationship? Then answer the phone if it rings and disregard texts. People won’t give up if they like you and you don’t text back.

If you have had anything to drink don’t text. I don’t care how fun and flirty you feel, you will feel less so in the morning.


Texting also removes the intimacy and mystery immediately. If he’s wondering if you’re home washing your hair instead of out having the time of your life, he knows the answer. It’s also very controlling. Why does someone you’ve been on one date with command your attention in such and immediate and lazy way?

People that want and deserve your time make an effort, certainly more of an effort than typing a three word sentence.


It comes back to valuing yourself and your time. You can always tell them you’re a luddite and that you can barely operate your flip phone. Tell them you don’t text and then sit on your hands if necessary. Remember playing hard to get is an actual strategy that works, desperation via smart phone is not.

You’re at your best when people sit across the table from you. When they can see the sparkle in your eye and your charming personality.