HOW DO I KNOW IF IT’S LONG TERM OR JUST LUST?
Matchmaking and being a matchmaker can be tough!
People want that indescribable chemistry that causes you to look at someone and feel your heart skip a beat. Having shared interests, goals and values is important, but finding that attraction that makes you keep trying even when everything else is going wrong, is extremely important.
I always say to people when they hire me that I consider chemistry to be really important. That being said, it is possible to have amazing chemistry with someone who is totally wrong for you. Lovemaking will usually only take an hour or two a day at the most. The rest of the day needs to be filled with conversation, shared interests and common values. Nothing will make you more miserable than finding yourself a year or two into a relationship or marriage with someone you have absolutely nothing in common with. Don’t get me wrong, have some fun, but keep your wits about you and make sure you’re always weighing the pros and cons of the relationship before making any life altering decisions.
Is also important to ask yourself why do you find that person so attractive? Are you attracted to aloof, emotionally distant men because that’s how your father was? It’s never too late to take inventory of the qualities that have/haven’t worked with past partners. Knowledge is power. Remember the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.
All this being said, I love hearing about couples that have been married for decades and still cause each other hearts to flutter when they see one another. It is almost like they are seeing each other for the first time, every time!