These days we’re all extremely aware of stranger danger. Including all the pitfalls of meeting someone you don’t know on a blind date. Men will often ask me how they can approach someone with out looking creepy and predatory.
As a professional matchmaker I have some guidelines I tell everyone to follow to keep it light and moving in the right direction.
Avoid any kind of sexual overtones with someone you’ve just met
I had a recent experience with clients who were matched. They both called me to say what a great connection they had, and they could both hardly wait for there first date on Friday. Sadly, the Wednesday before the date they got to texting and before they knew it, things got sexual. The next day, I got a call from the woman saying that we needed to take him off her file and cancel the date. Not surprising considering they had broken two of my matchmaker rules:
- NO TEXTING
- NO SUGGESTIVE OR SEXUAL TALK BEFORE MEETING
Generally, it can be easy to misread a situation when you don’t know someone or when you’re at the very least not face to face. If you’re a man, a good rule of thumb is don’t touch before you are touched. If a woman leans over and puts her hand on your arm or leg once or twice during a date it usually indicates a good night kiss is acceptable. If you’re not being touched, generally she’s not ready for more than a conversation at that point.
I always say avoid texting as much as possible. It’s easy to be misunderstood in a brief text. It also sends a message that you are available 24/7 to someone who has not earned your time. Part of what I do as a professional matchmaker is steer you through the choppy waters of dating and finding love.