be-yourself-misty-river

06 Jun How to be yourself without sending the wrong signals

When I’m giving dating and relationship advice I would never tell someone to pretend to be someone else.

That being said there are some subjects it’s best to avoid. Sex, religion and politics are always taboo on a first date. If you’re working with a good matchmaker they should be able to match you with people who have values that align with yours in these regards.

These subjects are highly personal and it’s inappropriate to discuss them in a first date situation. Anyone who does or expects you to may have other boundary issues as well.

Again, a good matchmaker should know if you have a Chelsea Handler type of humor and match you with someone who enjoys that and will find it funny.

Conversely, if you are quiet and reserved you will need to find a partner who likes that and respects that you will never be the life of the party no want you to be.

I know people love to text, but texting even if you’re not trying to can be fraught with innuendo. Pick up the phone. It’s much less easy to misinterpret a phone conversation and will make you seem more human.

Drinking too much is never good. By the way, more than two drinks on a date when you don’t know the other person is enough. You might think you’re cute but you are more likely to say something inappropriate and put an end to the relationship.

It’s OK to be sexually liberated, but you will regret it if you sleep with someone before you get to know them better. Having to break up with a person after being intimate is way harder and more uncomfortable than if you’ve been cautious and waited. It will be more likely to make the other person feel special if you’re not quick to jump into bed as well.