As a professional matchmaker, I’m always surprised when people reject someone based on chemistry after one short date. We’ve often had people be fairly unimpressed and then after a second date come back and say they think they might have found the one. Think about it. It’s similar to when you meet someone at work and barely notice them but after a month or two of knowing them you have a total crush. Dating can be similar. If someone checks all your boxes but doesn’t necessarily make your heart beat faster after one date, give it another shot. Sometimes love can grow over time.
If you are hiring a professional matchmaker don’t be shy about stating your intentions and your expectations.
Feedback is absolutely essential for us when matchmakers match you with prospective partners. As much as you don’t want to waste your time with bad dates, we as busy matchmakers, don’t want to waste our time either. People will often be sheepish about their “laundry lists” of requirements in what they are looking for. Don’t be. I would always rather work with someone who is pickier than with someone who doesn’t know or can’t articulate what they want in a partner.
Sometimes I have clients who feel bad or embarrassed for asking for advice or guidance when dating someone they really like. Don’t blow a great connection by being scared to ask for feedback. That being said, people will sometimes only give me the information I need in order to get the answer they want to hear. Be honest. When people are at the stage that they go to use a professional matchmaker, why facilitate spending more time in a dead end relationship. As a matchmaker and relationship coach I know I often am viewed as harsh with my advice. Surprisingly many of those same people thank me later when they’ve invested in a relationship that was worth their time rather than with someone who didn’t value and adore them.