As a matchmaker people often corner me at parties to tell me about their relationships. Often people want to tell me about relationship that doesn’t seem to be going in a good direction.
We aren’t meant to spend years as “daters” and as a result with little practice, many of us wonder if we are any good at dating. Maybe the things that are bothering us about our relationship are normal?
What do you look for in a relationship if you’re wondering if maybe you’re wasting your time.
Have you met their family and friends? You should have been asked to enter their world within the first to 3-6 months. If you aren’t included in that inner circle it’s a sure sing you’re more of “hook up” than a relationship for them.
Do they consult you about vacation plans. I don’t mean about vacations that were planned before you met them, I mean going forward. Were you invited? Did they include you in the planning?
Do they discuss the future? Are you working out when you start living together? Is there marriage plans? Have you been asked what you looking for going forward?
Do they answer the phone most of the time when you call? Or do you get a machine and have to leave a message?
Do they say they are not looking for a relationship? Doesn’t want to get married? Live together? People will tell you exactly what they want if you listen. If you think they will change their mind you are wrong. When someone says they don’t want a relationship, what they are saying is that they don’t want a relationship with you. Don’t waste time. End it. Many people talk themselves into staying because they tell themselves it’s fun for them too. Sadly eventually it will not be fun, just soul destroying. There are people out there who will value you and want to incorporate you into their life.
Do they dislike your family or not want to spend time with them? People who love you are interested in your history and your close friends and family. Not having an interest is a clear sign you are a temporary relationship for them.
Listen to your instincts. If something is making you unhappy or distrusting you are probably right to have a frank conversation and if no change occurs, end it before you’ve wasted time you could be spending with someone good for you. At Misty River Introductions we provide a matchmaking service that puts the best of both pairs with each other.